All bold text is from quoted directly from the book.

Wednesday, June 1st (bumped to Wednesday, June 4th)

Oh my god.  Almost nothing today matters.  Mom and I went to dinner and I was drinking cosmos, and she tole me I sound so lost.  Yes.  I told her I just needed some distance from Christian to get my thoughts straight, and that he tends to overwhelm me.  If we count me losing my virginity as the first day of dating, we’ve been together for 11 days, that’s all, and he’s already suffocating me!

I got a message from him asking how many cosmos I was going to drink.

WHAT THE HOLY FUCK!!  I didn’t tell him where I was, but he stalked me across the country and has been watching me!!

I have neglected to mention Christian’s stalker tendencies to my mom.  Now she’s learning first hand.  He made his way toward me.  His bright eyes are shining with – anger?  Tension?  His mouth is set in a grim line, jaw tense.  Oh holy shit…no.  I am so mad at him right now, and here he is.

I had no choice but to introduce him to my mom.  I gave him her first name, and he called her Mrs. Adams.  He shouldn’t have access to that information.

We bickered while my mom was in the bathroom, and he told me he’d leave if I wanted him to.  I now that wouldn’t end the stalking, so told him fine, just stay.  Damned control-freak-bastard.  My mom doesn’t get the full extent of it, and pushed me to go to his room.

I tried talking to him about…things, but that quickly ended with sex, and sex again.  I’m scared to death, but feel like I love this man.  I love his passion, the effect I have on him.  I love that he’s flown so far to see me.  Or so I believe, though I don’t really know him.  But…I’m resigned.  He wants me in his Red Room of Pain again. (What a stupid, unoriginal name.)  I’ll go.  This weekend.  Agreeing is the only control I have, and if I don’t agree, he won’t give me a choice.  I’ll play along.  I think I’m in the eye of the storm.  There is no way out without destruction, or waiting for the storm to dissipate.  Maybe, if I can play along long enough, he’ll calm down and things will get better.  That’s the only chance I have.  I can do this.  I can brave the storm and hold on and get out alive.


Met # of days ago: 23

Days with contact: 13

Number of days dating: 11

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