What the hell is wrong with you? Your daughter, Janay, said she thinks God used her and Ray Rice to bring domestic violence to the forefront, and you sit there agreeing with this? Your daughter was brutally beaten in public, and you sit there agreeing with her, accepting her explanation of religion, and defending her abuser. Your daughter is lucky she wasn’t killed in what was definitely not a first assault, regardless of what they say (beating in public over a fight that included spit is scarily brazen, and Ray was cool as a cucumber), and you’re okay with this because she said it was just a mistake? A friend of mine was pushed and pushed and pushed by an ex (I’m not getting into the details of the emotional abuse), and she slapped his shoulder. Her response wasn’t to shrug it off and chalk it up to a mistake. Even though most people privy to the details would see her shoulder-slap as self-defense, she was horrified, and berated herself for a long time. Your son-in-law knocked your daughter out, and shrugged it off, and you are apparently fine with this!
Your daughter is exhibiting all the signs of battered woman syndrome, and can’t see clearly. YOU, and her mother and father, shouldn’t be accepting this. YOU, as a mother and father in general, should be trying to get her away, not sitting there defending him!!
What went on in your household when Janay was growing up that you can accept your daughter being beaten as a mistake, and evidently be okay with her marrying her abuser? If genuinely nothing happened, then is Ray supporting you, and you’re willing to sacrifice your daughter for money? What is going through your heads?
Candy, you are evil for saying, in response to Ray not attending to Janay, “I was very upset by that part, and I told him so. I basically told him that I didn’t care who was out there at the elevator, you should have never left her there like that. I did tell him that.” That is the part that made you very upset?! Seriously? Seriously, lady?! Not the part where he beat her into unconsciousness?! And you also call the negative press reaction to Janay’s apology to Ray, given at the Baltimore Ravens’ urging, “overblown.” If you, you wicked, evil woman, won’t get upset over your daughter being hurt, then someone needs to! How horrid that strangers should be more concerned for her while you sit there defending your daughter’s abuser, and call the negative reactions to him, and to her being called to apologize, overblown! While you defend your son-in-law, your own child is out there having to deal with it all herself.
Your claim that you didn’t raise “a young woman to be an abused woman” is dangerous conceit. You’d rather throw your daughter to wolf to maintain your delusion that you hold the magic secret to making sure a child isn’t abused, even though yours was abused! My parents didn’t raise me to be abused either, but you know what? I was anyway. Millions of women are, and we weren’t raised to be abused! Thankfully, many of us have parents who are just a little more concerned with our safety than in trying to make themselves look good.
You also said, “I feel bad for their parents, their mothers, that they can’t get their kids out of this … ” Open your eyes!! Your daughter, with your blessing, married her abuser afterward! She is the mother of his toddler! She’s stuck in it, yet you refuse to believe it! You so obviously think that only other people’s kids can be abused, and only other people’s kids can get stuck. Talk about cognitive dissonance born of conceit!
Joe, you strike me as the sort who’d value a man being a traditional man taking care of his woman. How can you watch a video of Ray knocking your daughter upside the head, then listen to her blame herself because “I got arrested, too. So I did something wrong, too” (not everyone who’s arrested did wrong, but for some reason, your daughter doesn’t know how to question this), and accept him into your family? What kind of man are you? I don’t think you are one. You should expect better form another of your sex and gender, not be okay, in the end, with that other treating your own child the way he did. Granted, you haven’t appeared entirely comfortable in interviews, but that doesn’t chance the fact that you aren’t speaking up and out against Ray. Your silence is your support.
Why are you sending the message to your precious daughter and granddaughter that it’s okay to be abused? Why do you want them to believe that a man who punches ever deserves another chance? Do you really not care that being knocked unconscious is the result of a brain injury? Janay could have died. How can either of you look at yourselves in the mirror, or sleep at night?
I’m appalled that abuse isn’t only romanticized, a lá Fifty Shades, et. al, but is defended by parents of victims who need to stand up and protect their children, not to pat their children on the head, and send them back to their abusers. Neither of you are parents. You’re just rotten people who willingly stand by and clear the path for your daughter and granddaughter to live in danger, and then defend the abuser instead of the abused, and the at-risk-of-being-abused. Shame on you both.