I don’t want to think about how many deaths there’ve been around me in the last month. The youngest was just five. Toss loads of family drama on that…
Let’s get back on the Shit Show Express!
Not!Alice hugs the POS she calls a brother, and squeals like a twee little twit. I admit I liked Alice in Twilight since I saw her tweeness as a semi-sarcastic response to her family acting like a bunch of idiots scared to pick out their clothes unless she told then what is a good idea and what someone might insult. I also liked Rosalie because se was dumped on every chance Meyer could get since she, like Erica Leonard wanna-be-with-vampire-James, hates blonde women.
They head out of the airport… Just a side note here. A couple weeks ago I made a drive in the middle of the night from Vancouver up to the airport in Seattle a few hours north to take a friend there so she could get on the one affordable flight to Florida to see her mom before she passed. Yeah…. Anyway, Sea-Tac looks like a carbon copy of Portland International Airport, which is an amazing airport. I’m glad James skipped describing it since she’s get it all wrong. I can research the color of a roof for the grocery store in a small town, but James is allergic to research.
Mia’s shallow and hung up on the shopping she did in Paris, even though she went to Paris to learn to cook. I get the uncomfortable feeling we are supposed to see her as this lovely lady.
Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina. It’s on Netflix. Watch it, if you haven’t already.
Do we want a flashback to when Grey first held Mia and his first word was to say her name and Grace cried happy tears? No.
They get to their parents’ home, and Mia pouts because her parents didn’t ditch their jobs to meet her a week early. What a self-centered snot.
The only person around is my parents’ housekeeper—she’s an exchange student, and I can’t remember her name. “Welcome home,” she says to Mia in her stilted English, though she’s looking at me with big cow eyes.
Oh, God. It’s just a pretty face, sweetheart.
That’s right, insult the housekeeper who sounds scared of you. Also the exchange students are students, not hired help. Also, Grey, get over yourself. Your face ain’t that pretty. It’ll be less pretty when everyone who hates your abusive ass gets a few punches in.
He ignored the poor girl, and Mia gives him a present. Just to remind us who Grey is, it’s a snow globe with a grand piano inside. Mia asks him about Ana, Grace walks in, Grey bitches about being asked to take Mia’s suitcase upstairs, and I need some coffee to stay awake. This is boring.
Grey bails and goes to see his personal trainer. Apparently Bastille is a tough trainer since they do contact-sparring. I’ve taken taekwondo and shotokan, and both forms were with contact. I’ve taken kicks to my face. How are Christian’s kickboxing classes tougher for the contact? He’s distracted, Bastille says he’s gone soft in Portland, and asks if Grey’s staying in Seattle for the week. That’s all this section has. Filler. Just filler.
He jogs back to his apartment, and remembers a housewarming present for Ana. He didn’t buy it, of course. He has to as his assistant what she picked, and she lets him know it’s champagne and a balloon. Thrilling….
Wait, what? I’m confused now. He gets up to his place to get “the present,” and it’s a riding crop. So which is it? Alcohol or a whip? I’m so confused….
Taking the crop, I stroll into my bedroom. This will be the perfect introduction to my world: by her own admission Ana has no sphere of reference with regard to corporal punishment, except the spanking I gave her that night. And that turned her on.
I guess he forgot how she said she felt demeaned and abused. She was aroused in the way some victims of rape are, where their body primes automatically to lessen the chance of damage, but she didn’t really enjoy it. She was hurt.
We’ll take it slow. And we’ll only do what she can handle. If this is going to work we’re going to have to go at her pace. Not mine.
Fucking liar who fucking lies. Everything is at his pace, even this. She didn’t ask for this. It’s what he wants.
Elena calls to tell him she met a woman who “might fulfill [his] needs.” I’m not surprised to see a statutory rapist seeing other women as objects to service a man. This is more filler. It took up an entire page and a half.
Now dinner’s over, and we’re told after the fact what they had, and I don’t care what they had since it wasn’t the deadly part of a pufferfish. Mia demands to know about Ana. Again. Grey simply says he met a girl, “End of story.” Mia won’t leave it at that, and their father, Carrick tells her to knock it off.
But we’ll see in about half a second where Mia gates it from. See, Grace backs Grey into a corner, and now he feels obligated to have Ana over for dinner the following night since Kate will be there with Elliot. Manipulative move, Mother. Now fuck off. Oh, wait, I was thinking about the crap my own mother pulls. I’d rather have either of Grey’s moms, though this really is a bitch-move by Grace.
Mia, who still knows nothing about Ana, says she sounds super awesome OMG twee-SQUEE! While bouncing in her chair. Naturally.
Grace tells him Elena called for him. In 2011, if someone calls a person asking for the person’s son, who has a cell phone, the response is to tell the caller to call the son herself instead of passing a long a message. That should have tipped Grace off to stay out of it. She knows Elena knows her son’s phone number. She should realize her son may not want to talk to Elena.
They’re having apple cobbler for dessert. WHO CARES??
Grace made me laugh by telling Grey he works “too hard.” More like he doesn’t really work at all!
Grey excuses himself, and internally swears about how Ana will be meeting his family, and he’s not sure how he feels about that.
This is it for this chapter. It’s hot dog filler and more filler. Sorry nothing’s funny. There’s just nothing to work with here. So here’s something to make you laugh, just to make it worth it to have read the 1,129 words in this post:
Alys Marchand 
Pingback: Recap Directory for Grey, the pseudo-new Fifty Shades book | Alys Marchand
I saw Sabrina and the remake and I like the remake better. Maybe because while Julia Ormond and Harrison Ford had chemistry, (I thought that) Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn had zero chemistry. Also, Bogart seemed miscast whereas Ford seemed perfectly cast.
And Audrey Hepburn is indeed lovely. I adore her. My favourite films of her are Charade and Roman Holiday.
Not that this has anything to do with anything, but it sure as hell is more fun to talk about than this dull chapter.
I thought Ormond and Ford lacked chemistry. When they kissed, it looked like neither wanted to be there. I wanted to smack her out of the way and go kiss him myself.
I could buy Hepburn as Sabrina better. She was more believable as an innocent child growing into a more worldly woman, whereas Ormond seemed like an immature adult growing up. Hepburn’s take works better.
I did like the new version’s David better, as well as his final scene where he busted in, started taking care of business, and told him mother that he DID read her emails about the company, after all.
It’s really Ormond herself that loses it for me, and the kisses seeming forced.
The first time I saw Roman Holiday, I literally held my breath at the end, waiting for her to acknowledge the man she had some to love, and was shattered when she walked away. It was a slam of realism when you expect a fairytale ending. It doesn’t cause disappointment, just an overwhelming sense of sadness after being in this sort of emotional high with the two of them. It’s such a wonderful movie!
Chapter? I forgot about there being a chapter. Literally! I guess that means I should work on another tonight. 🙂
Oh, I really like the new take on David too. I like how the film acknowledges that he never really loved Sabrina; he was just charmed by her and her worship of him. I think I would like the original Sabrina better if only Bogart didn’t seem so uncomfortable in the role.
Yes, Roman Holiday is great. Especially that scene where she realises that growing up sometimes means not getting what you want, but accepting your responsibility. Plus, Gregory Peck: swoon.
I think Bogart worked since Louis was supposed to be uncomfortable. Louis was romancing someone he intended to hurt. He came across as having regrets about his plans. So I think that he worked because of that.
I’ll second that swoon! Roman Holiday was all-around lovely. That’s really the movie that made me glad not to be born into a royal position. Until William, it’s always been expected that a royal would marry someone titled. Granted, the Middleton family is, by no means, poor, and are socially above us, but they aren’t titled. Princess Ann didn’t have the luxury of marrying for love. Like real life, Ann was on the verge of a break-down because her life wasn’t her own. That reflects now. If Kate Middleton isn’t at an event, people over there freak out! The queen and the rest know to suck it up to keep the peace. What a tiring life.
Yeah, being royalty = not fun. Dating royalty = also not fun. And they don’t even have a choice, really.
I like your take on Alice. I never noticed her twee-ness, even when it was pointed out to me, but I can buy that an overly perky attitude is a way of dealing with idiocy XD
WOW, that was disappointing, even by my low standards for FSOG. Sorry your mother did crap like that >={
Alice is this spritely little hyper and perky thing, which is twee behavior. HOWEVER! I like her anyway since I do think that was her was of snarking on the rest of them! Sure, some people say she’s bossy since she even picks their clothes, but as readers also see, the Cullens won’t make a movie without asking her. I think she just got into the habit of being asked, and so started to just tell them what to do, and being perky was her way of tossing her hands up and saying, “Fine! You’re all a bunch of idiots!” In Breaking Dawn, the Cullens were absolutely crippled without her. We’re supposed to think Carlisle and Edward run the household, but it’s obvious Alice ran it without credit.
This guy, this fucking guy. He always clings to the “sexy” parts of what Ana says. She tells him he dazzles her and he makes her mind go all messy because he has deep voice and is seducitve? He clings to it and moves the conversation to it, she says “mind-blowing” he will grasp on that and try to find out about that rather than her real concern, connected to it. Here is the same, she described her body’s reaction and he clings to that disregarding any complaints that went to it.
It’s unsettling how much this book explains a rapist’s mindset.
Victim: The orgasm felt good because they are a release of tension, but I was so scared and felt abused and demeaned, and don’t want to do that again.
Perp: She said she had an orgasm and it felt good. Who wouldn’t want another orgasm?
Fans of this book are being conditioned to think like a rapist, and explain away why rape is wrong.