Since it’s not like I have anything better to do, like nurse this three-day-long migraine, finish the next Grey recap, pack some more for our potential move, clean the kitchen, work at the work that pays me, or pick my nose, I’m sitting here about to pick a bone. As a bonus, I have a two-day-old apple fritter from VooDoo Doughnuts, a hot cup of Earl Grey tea, and heart. I’ve got a heart for you! All of you!
Now I’m sure you’ve heard about the attacks in Paris (yeah, I’m just plain linking to the Wiki–see above about my migraine), and if not, get out from under that big rock. That’s led to a lot of anti-Muslim sentiment because apparently all brown people and people from Syria are terrorists wanting to kill all Americans, and they can’t read maps to realize they were on the wrong continent to do it.
Look at this little terrorist, unable to read maps and shit.
I guess those Islamophobes and bigots are right. This little boy hurts people. My heart hurts right now. By the way, there might be sad pics in this article, but you need a guide to surviving these people. I feel for you like Kanye feels for Taylor Swift.
So now we here in America have some governors willing to take in refugees. Jay Inslee, governor of Washington state, started it. I guess someone forgot to tell him that these refugees aren’t the same as these ‘Fugees:
There’s a big difference. One group is being killed softly with his song, telling their whole life with his words, killing ’em softly with his song, and the other’s getting killed with murder, leading them to flee from the same sort of terrorists who shot up Paris.
Someone should tell him he’s terroristing wrong. He doesn’t have any bombs or guns, and is carrying his child!
So what on earth is Governor Inslee thinking him inviting these people to this great state? Doesn’t he know they’re dangerous people? Oh, wait, they’re not. But what about that one terrorist in Paris with a refugee passport? Not only is that still an iffy situation, but, if correct, that makes one refugee out of millions involved in terrorist. The good ol’ U. S. of A. churns them out in higher numbers, and using a refugee passport is really inefficient anyways. Takes a lot longer than, say, getting a tourist visa or a pilot license so you can fly planes into buildings in New York, or the Pentagon, or a field in Pennsylvania.
So it may be inevitable that some of these suuuuuuuuper deadly people might end up here, like this little terrorist. Again, she’s attacking my heart.
I guess we have reasons to be scared of these people. After all, they didn’t stand their ground against terrorist bombs and guns, and fight back using rocks and sticks and fists. Surely they have plenty of sticks after their homes were blown to smithereens. How dare they pack up what they can carry to flee just for the small chance of finding themselves still alive the next day?
So now they may be our problem. Whatever are we to do about it? Well, I’ve come up with some hand dandy instructions on how to survive the survivors!
Step 1: If you see a refugee on the street, and you know for sure the person is a refugee, offer your condolences for what they’ve been through, and offer to be of any assistance that they need.
Step 2: Give the assistance that they ask for.
Step 3: Thank your lucky stars that you haven’t had to experience the terror that they have. Even in New York, when legit terrorists flew planes into buildings, that didn’t give people a true look at living every single day in such danger that you will leave everything you know, with no certain ways of getting food or water or even a place to sleep, just to try living one more day and keep yourself and your loved ones not raped and not killed with murder. Thank your lucky stars that we could rally under one flag and sing about being proud to be an American, in a time where the Dixie Chicks would criticize a president and not be killed with murder for it.
Step 4: Think about how being homeless on the streets of America is a few steps up from where those refugees are now, and it’s a lot safer. Let that sink in.
Step 5: Stop freaking out about how they’re going to kill us. We are really, seriously, truly in more danger of being killed by an American-born white guy than by a refugee who is going through hell to live instead of going through hell to get killed by the Police.
Refugees aren’t fleeing from lawless terror to go get themselves killed by law-backed terror.
Step 5: Remember that, in under a week, we here in the US are celebrating a holiday widely (though wrongly) attributed to a feast between people escaping a tyrannical regime and religious persecution in Europe, and the people already on this continent who welcomed them and cared for them, and in about a month, the world’s biggest holiday will be celebrated, and it also involves brown people fleeing. Only there was supposedly no room for them in the inn.
Extra credit: Offer up any spare room in your home to a refugee.
That’s…really all there is to it. That’s how your survive it. Be a good person and be thankful for what you have, and stop justing people based on their skin. The refugees are humans too, and they deserve humanity. I define humanity as:
The willingness to accept that other people’s lives matter just as much as yours, and treating those equally-valuable people with the care and respect you hope would be shown to you if the situations were reversed.