• About

Alys Marchand

~ Author, reader, dreamer

Alys Marchand

Monthly Archives: November 2016

Overlooked reasons to be thankful

24 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by Author Alys Marchand in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Something perhaps unusual that I’m thankful for today is actually a someone. Mr. Rogers. Obviously I’m not a perfect parent, and sometimes I have to be stern with my precious, but for the most part, I try to emulate Mr. Rogers. He never talked down to us, or treated us like we were stupid. He didn’t shy away from heavy topics that many parents would tell their kids they’d talk about “when they’re older.” He found a way to talk about the hard things in a way kids understood, and he made sure to teach kids to be accepting of those different than themselves. He got on our level and as patient and gentle and remembered were were complete people with our likes and dislikes and our hopes and fears and our happinesses and angers and sadnesses, even when we were just little children, and he talked us through how to deal with the fears and the angers and thins we didn’t like, without making us feel invalidated for feeling that way. He encouraged our happy things, and taught us that we had some power to change things we didn’t like into what we did like, while emphasizing that we were fine just the way we were, flaws and all.

That’s some of what he did for us, and it’s what I try to do for my child.

What are some things you are grateful for that are often overlooked on Thanksgiving?

1

Getting back on track

23 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by Author Alys Marchand in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

All right, folks.  Like the rest of the US and much of the world, I was distracted by the elections (I desperately want to know what Hillary promised Wall Street to win their support, and Trump…I hope he’s ready to make the least amount of money in his life).

On Saturday, the rest of the next Grey recap will be posted, though, as planned, little is likely to be posted next week as my daughter’s birthday is a week from Saturday, which will be a princess ball.  I’m DIYing it to the hilt.

Since I am behind on the author interviews, I’m going to see if any of my authors have the time to do an interview soon so I can post either this Sunday or the next.

In the coming couple weeks, I will be finishing a post on the hypocrisy of sharing Melania Trump’s old nudes in an attempt to shame her by people claiming to be feminists, and an upsetting realization I just had about Twilight that I haven’t seen addressed elsewhere.

But tonight?  I’m off to finish pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving tomorrow, and I already have a brief post scheduled.  Think about what makes you thankful, and please join me tomorrow in sharing some of the things you’re grateful for.

Trump’s America is OUR America

10 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by Author Alys Marchand in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

I can’t believe I’m writing on politics.  But it involves a lot of rights that are important to me, and to why I started writing.

I’m against both Hillary and Trump, which I think everyone knows. However, we ARE going to be better off for Trump. Hear me out before deciding to make me a pariah because I think you’ll agree with this (unless you’re a Trump-supporter, that is):

We’ve had a gradual backslide in rights. States have had TRAP laws that have been making choice obsolete in many states. Some states are allowing LGBT discrimination under “religious freedom.” Women are under attack as rapists are getting off with next to no jail time, or literally no jail time. And so on. And as these things have happened slowly, we’ve gotten used to them. Indiana letting discrimination against gay people happen doesn’t affect a gay person in California right now, and so it’s easier to overlook. A raped and pregnant teen in Mississippi doesn’t affect me here, making it easier to overlook happening. We’re frogs in slowly boiling water, and this has been happening under a Democratic president. It’s all picked up steam under a Democratic president. So it’ll take more than a Democrat in office to stop.

Trump has taken us out of that comfortable and gently simmering water and thrown us right into boiling water, making it so we can no longer ignore what’s happening. If Hillary had won, we wouldn’t be talking today about how incredibly fucked up this country is. People would be celebrating a woman, any woman, in office, instead of realizing that violence against women is extremely common and needs to stop, that racial violence is extremely common and needs to stop, that violence and discrimination against the most basic of LGBT rights is extremely common and needs to stop. A few days ago, people were bitching about Obamacare, and now everyone’s now realizing that Obamacare helped people and so, so many are now worried about what losing it will mean for the masses.

Thanks to Trump’s win, America is being forced to face our many, many problems with bigotry and human rights violations that we were otherwise quietly accepting as we acclimated to them. Trump’s win is the slap to the face that America needed to wake the fuck up and start doing something.

As Michelle Obama said, “Don’t let anyone ever tell you that this country isn’t great, that somehow we need to make it great again. Because this, right now, is the greatest country on earth.”

Half right. This is the greatest America’s been to date, but we still have problems every single day of people fighting for basic rights and recognition. We’re made some strides, but have also taken quite a few steps back. We are the ONLY first-world nation that doesn’t see medical care as a human right. Almost all third-world nations see PAID maternity leave as human rights. We’re behind Cuba, Iraq, and Iran India even sees food as a human right. We’ve been whipped when it comes to LGBT rights. Our students are falling further behind as their basic needs are privileges that are seen as rights in many other places. A decade ago, a woman pregnant in an abusive relationship could have had an abortion in the first few months, but now is chained to her abuser in many states as rapists still have rights to the kids conceived through their crimes, which, even if convicted, rarely get jail time.

We are not the greatest country on earth, and Trump’s election is forcing us to look at our problems before it’s too late to put breaks on and back up. This was going to happen sooner or later. Hopefully now that we have to deal with it head-on, we can turn the wheel and veer onto a different path.

We can no longer distracted from the ongoing and growing problems in this country anymore. Hillary winning would be like Dug seeing a squirrel in Up. We’d look that way while not seeing what’s happening behind us. Trump is a spotlight on what’s wrong, and now we can deal with it. There’s no longer an excuse to ignore it. Hillary would be a baby’s pacifier. Some would say progress is being made because a woman’s in office even though Obama in office didn’t exactly mean progress was made on race relations. It’s gotten worse for black people, and racists pointed to Obama as “proof” that things have gotten better. Yeah, tell that to Tamir Rice’s mother as she stares in disbelief at a bill she got for her son’s murder expenses.

The pacifier’s yanked. The wool’s gone. America is now seeing itself for what it is, and we now have a chance to start fixing things. I’m not glad that this is what America’s become, and Trump winning does hurt. But Trump’s win hurts because it means a look in the mirror, and America doesn’t like what it sees. The problem isn’t Trump. The problem is America itself. We’re just blaming the person holding the mirror.  Trump is merely a representation of where America as slid back to while we were too busy ignoring our own decline and increasing apathy.

Maybe American CAN become GREAT, not because of Trump, but in spite of him.  This disaster has pulled the wool off of our eyes. We can no longer claim to not see the problems. America’s quiet acceptance of bigotry and discrimination that hadn’t personally affected our own individual lives to a noticeable degree helped cause this by telling bigots that no one will stop them. Well, this is the bed America made. Are we going to lie in it, or are we going to get the fuck up and do something to affect positive social, economic, and personal change now that the kindling under our collective asses has been lit?

Final Election Thoughts: What’s 9/11 got to do with it?

09 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by Author Alys Marchand in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

The last couple weeks have been full of bad happenings, from cancer announcements among my friends and family to multiple cancers striking the same person, to everything under the sun, it seems.  It distracted me from my regularly-scheduled postings, and yesterday, Tuesday, November 8, 2016, was set aside as a day for me to try to ignore the world, primarily the election coverage.

Allow me a moment to say something that will surely result in a few people accusing me of being a 9/11-conspiracy-theorist (no, Bush didn’t cause it), and allow me a thousand words to retrace my own political path the last year.

Now it’s no secret that I support neither Trump nor Clinton.  I voted for Jill Stein in a state where Hillary had a guaranteed win, after being a Bernie-supporter.  Last fall, I was actually in Camp Hillary, and thought we couldn’t lose with either Hillary or Bernie.  Yay!  Win-win!  As long as the republicans  gave us a weak candidate, how could someone on the blue side lose?

Slowly information about Hillary was leaked, and I became angry with what came to light.  Unlike many, I didn’t blame her for Benghazi, and I still don’t.  I started to look at the timeline of events, such as when she finally decided to side with LGBT right, especially in relation to other Democrats, and I noticed that she came on board the equality train only at the very end, when it was no longer prudent to claim liberalism while being openly against equal rights, and since she had further political aspirations, the timing was suspect.  It never sat well with me that her husband abused his power to get an intern to have an affair with him, not any of the other claims by victims (yes, I’m not saying convictions, but Bill Cosby has no convictions, yet no one treats him as if he’s innocent).  Smaller issues snowballed, and I came to see her as a traitor to my sex, and not truly liberal. I’m still extremely uncomfortable with her promises to Wall Street that she wouldn’t share, and with the pages o her own website calling for more war overseas and to increase volunteering in place of paid jobs, among other issues I have with her that’s neither here nor there at this point.

When Donald Trump entered the scene, he was a joke, the male version of Sarah Palin, worse than Sarah Palin, who was such a joke that she may be the reason John McCain lost against Obama in 2008.  Trump should have been a non-entity.  He was a joke that people took seriously because America loves reality TV too much and thinks it ends up okay in the end as long as the cameras tell us who Farrah Abraham is having anal sex with that week, or the state of Mama June’s weight.

Surely no one would take Trump seriously.  After all, he was acting the part of Hitler’s protégé, and everyone should know that running America as a business is wrong.  After all, look at how much WalMart, a big business, benefits the worker.  (Answer: It pays poverty wages.)  But then other Republican-potentials dropped out.  As a surprise to us all, Trump alone was left, becoming the default candidate.

I ended up firmly in Camp Bernie and proudly declared myself a Berner.  In light of all that had been revealed, Bernie was a candidate I believed in, independent of my feelings about the other two.

During the primaries, it became clear that Hillary was divisive, and that she would not be able to unite a split political party.  Bernie could, but Hillary could not.  Bernie ran a squeaky clean campaign, and still information on Hillary came out, and, despite her unclean campaign, her crew turned up pretty much no dirt on Bernie  That spoke volumes.  There was no reason Hillary’s supporters wouldn’t support Bernie, but many reasons Bernie’s supporters wouldn’t support Hillary.  We had a clear path to a Democrat victory in Bernie, but Hillary was going to be an uphill battle that would lose.

Trump was a gift of sorts.  To win, all the DNC had to do was to give us the candidate who would unite the Democrats.  That’s all.  Bernie in that seat would sail us away to a hands-down victory.  The Republicans who saw Trump as a joke would flock to Bernie, all the Dems would apply super glue and stick tighter, and we’d all celebrate yesterday as the day we had a president-elect we liked and who would do good and be honorable and diplomatic and let the good times ROLL!

Sure, that’s an ideal version, but that’s the gist.  We had an easy path!

But shenanigans happened.  Most visibly, in Arizona, polling stations in poorer areas more likely to have Bernie-supporters were closed down, making it more difficult to get to the polling stations still open, mostly in areas with Hillary-supporters.  In a surprise to no one, Hillary won, and that was when it became clear that the system was rigged.  It was even before that, but the lack of investigation or action into this was stunning and painful.  The system was rigged, and it was like the DNC actively wanted us to lose to Trump.  Fear thrived, and America’s younger voters were shut out in favor of listening to older people who supposedly knew better what America needs.  In fear of Trump, they silenced millions upon millions, and shut out the man who filed stadiums and coliseums on a day’s notice in favor of the candidate who struggled to fill high school gyms.

Issue after issue came up.  Pain workers spreading lies about Bernie online.  Shills.  Plants.  More voting issues.  Super-delegates that can overrule people.  More division happened.  And then, finally, Bernie was out after a convention with even more issues, most-mentioned being a roll call in his favor that was tossed in favor of a new one, unannounced, when many of his supporters weren’t present.  That convention, by the way, barred its newly-ousted chairperson, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, when it became factually known that she was in Camp Hillary, which explained a lot that had happened.

At the end of the day, we had Hillary and Trump, and the DNC believed that fear would push everyone away from Trump.

Now neither of them is great.  Hillary’s posted about wanting more wars, and to increase volunteer positions over paid jobs (those are both on her own website), and Trump is a joke who thinks he can build a wall after shaking down Mexico for milk money.  Neither has much to recommend them either than “at least this one isn’t that one.”  But it was too late.  Both candidates struck fear into people, and many voters began to decide their votes out of fear.  I nearly did the same.  It felt like a nation-wide Punk’d, or like we were all part of a new Truman Show, only with real-world consequences.

The rallying call because “Defeat the other person!” “Danger!”  “DEFEAT!”  At no point with what’s best for America boil down to anything other than defeating the other person.  Even during the primaries, it was all about defeat because you’ll be hurt.  Fear the other.  The time to have avoided these disastrous choices was during the primary, long before the conventions.  We ALL should have ignored our fears for a moment and looked honestly at the merits of the candidates, good as well as bad.  I had no doubt the primaries would have given us different candidates if we weren’t in the mindset of war on the other side and how to defeat the other side.  We cut off our noses to spite our faces by only looking at it as who could be the bigger bully instead of who could be diplomatic and get things done peacefully.

Then the election happened, and as Berners said would happen, Hillary divided the party so bad that even Republican defectors weren’t enough to keep Trump out of office.  And say what you will about how awful it is that Trump won.  Just keep in mind that if she had won, we’d be bracing for more wars.  We lost in the primaries.  We collectively ended in a no-win situation by acting out of fear from the early days, and calling those looking for a spot of brightness in Bernie names ranging from stupid idealists to idiots who don’t know how the world works, even accusing us of not caring if people die.  I bet things look pretty different right now.

Before the election was even officially called, voters began slinging mud, blaming third-party voters (almost all who are in states either where Hillary won anyway, or where all the third-party votes could go to her, and it wouldn’t have made a difference), or voters of the other person.  Non-voters, at least this time, have been absolved of the usual blame for who lost.

Soon I began to connect the dots on something.  Many people who voted for one candidate over the other didn’t do so because they supported the candidate.  I know people who voted for Trump, but only a few of them are happy about the result.  None of them, that I know of at least, regret their votes, but most aren’t happy.  They picked the lesser of two evils instead of looking for a candidate they believed in.  It was because they feared Hillary, just as many of her voters voted our of fear of Trump instead of out of support for her.  In a typical year, voters go to the polls thinking about who they think will do better for America.  But this year, so many people were voting based on who they were more scared of and who they thought could defeat that person, without looking at the long-term ramifications, and it started in the primaries when Hillary’s supporters cried against anything being done about the obvious vote-rigging going on.

You could say the result would be the same whether people looked mostly at their fear instead of who they thought would better serve this country, but it’s not.  If people weren’t so scared, they may have been more inclined to give all of the candidates, from Hillary and Trump, on down to Alyson Kennedy, a fair look.  They would have been willing to look at the candidates in the primaries based on individual merit, and Bernie probably would have had a runaway victory and we’d probably have Cruz, or at least definitely anyone who isn’t Trump.  Since it was too late come the convention, who knows what would have happened if people had stopped voting based on fear.  Maybe not a tremendous number of votes would have changed since we did have a couple incredibly unlikable candidates, or maybe they would have changed.  Who knows.

I do know that we wouldn’t have the newly-coined “protest vote,” which is supposed to mean a vote cast because you don’t like someone else (“I don’t like Hillary, so will vote for Trump because at least he’s not Hillary”), which applied to enough votes that it was re-applied to all third-party votes instead, regardless of reason for voting third party (I voted for Jill Stein because her views most closely align with mine).  I also know we wouldn’t have this conflicting idea of what’s called “voting your conscience” going on while also being told that doing just that is a “protest vote” (“If you want to vote for Jill, and feel it’s right, then ‘vote you conscience’ and do it, but if you do, you’re casting a ‘protest vote’ and are doing it wrong, but make sure you vote even though you’ll be wrong, m’kay?”).

All of is hinged on fear.  And when did America become a nation so full of cowards?  When did begin to let fear be what rules us more than anything?  It hit me when I was doing the dishes at about 1am.

We have been conditioned, since 9/11, to act based on fear.  No longer are parents supposed to worry only about hypodermics in Halloween candy and otherwise let kids enjoy childhood.  Oh, no.  Now we can’t wear shoes through the checkpoint at the airport because what if someone wants to kill us?   Our kids are learning that.  We can’t expect privacy for our phone calls because what if the brown-skinned person up the road is talking to someone five degrees separated from a potential terrorist?  We are expected to pass through various securities on an almost daily basis because what if someone wants to kill us?  That seemed to make it okay to teach us to act based on fear because what if someone wants to crash the plane my husband will be on tomorrow?  What if he’s somewhere in London that gets bombed Thursday?  What if?

You can even see this in school shooting (which I admit is my biggest fear).  Columbine happened prior to 9/11, and the reaction was that the survivors were going to rise above the actions and, even though traumatized, strive to live lives not dictated by fear.  But since 9/11, the reaction has been to heap fear on top of more fear.

We’ve reached a point where our society has become too militarized, and we’re no safer for it.  We’ve been told that any arguing against giving up further freedoms or wanting privacy means we must not care about safety.  Almost everything in our lives is supposed to cause fear now.  We’re  been crippled by fear.  We no longer look for the good.  We don’t look at how many planes fly safely for every one that goes down.  We don’t look at how few people in this world will be killed in terror attacks, or be there when one happens.  The mass media and irresponsible reporting makes us feel we are all personal victims of every attack, which keeps us hanging on to the media for more information on what’s going to kill us the next time we look out our front doors.

Fear is the easiest way to control people, and that really got a foothold in 9/11.  Remember when the PATRIOT Act was so hotly contested? If you wanted to be safe, then what have you got to hide form the feds?   Why not let them spy on you if you have nothing to hide? It’s all for safety, and you don’t want to die, do you?  If you want your children to survive, then stop protesting all the checkpoints being set up, stop fighting against the concept of privacy, give the government access to  your home, your body, even your mind, because you’re going to get hurt otherwise.  FEAR resulted in us allowing it to happen, and it’s snowballed to the point that we’ve hit a critical mass on fear.

And even post-election, it’s still all about fear, and will continue to be about fear for a while because we’ve been conditioned to let fear lead our lives over our brains.  It’s okay to consider what scares us.  Than can keep us safe.  But when we let fear guide our every step, we walk into situations like this.  This is how terrorism wins.  Using planes as bombs starts it.  From there, the terrorists just needed to sit back and watch the country destroy itself.

Can America break free from this habit of letting fear be our god that we collectively do not question?  We lost the chance several months ago when so many blindly accepted the DNC’s corruption out of fear for Trump and an unwillingness to see the fear Hillary could cause.  The bigger fear-causer was all they saw.  Fear, the bigger fear.  It’s too late now to change what’s happened this time.

But in the future, can we stop thinking with our fear and start thinking with our heads?  Give situations a pragmatic, rational look, and stop insulting those who do just that?  Can we stop insulting people like this spring and summer’s Berners who were telling the world what was going to happen (and did come to pass) because fear was prioritized over critical thinking?  Can we grow up already?  If we expect our kids to push through their fears to see the fun in riding a bike and to at least consider doing something that might be scary, then we adults should do the same.  Sometimes the fear is at least partly in our heads, and breaking through that bogart can show us that there’s nothing too bad on the other side.

It’s too late for January 2017.  We’ve lost there.  But we’ll have four years to practice not being governed by fear, four years to learn to be complete people who also have joy, and anger, and disgust, and sadness in there, and to learn how to think using a broader range of emotions and thoughts, and then we’ll get to try again.  Can we do this?

inside-out-cast

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • The surprisingly saucy lives of some well-know writers, and the unexpected reason Frankenstein was written
  • Finding beta readers
  • Coming up with ideas
  • Sex and the Modern Romance
  • Human trafficking and romance should NEVER be mixed in a book

Archives

  • September 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • October 2017
  • March 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012

Categories

  • Uncategorized

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 3,472 other subscribers

Alys B. Cohen on Twitter

Error: Please make sure the Twitter account is public.

Add my as a Friend on Facebook! Link in most recent Page post

Add my as a Friend on Facebook! Link in most recent Page post

Blogs I Follow

  • Fall Into The Story
  • Tinder...oh Tinder....
  • Strong Women in Fiction
  • Oregon Regency Society
  • Rising from the Abyss
  • #50ShadesIsAbuse BlogRing
  • I Am Not the Babysitter
  • I Was A Foster Kid
  • akaKody
  • Magical things. Beautiful things.
  • Ink in the Book
  • Writer's Digest
  • DAILY WRITING TIPS
  • Goins, Writer
  • Sweaters for days...
  • Cape Cod Scribe
  • All My Friends Are Pretend
  • Writing From the Padded Room
  • Robb Grindstaff

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Fall Into The Story

The official blog for Nora Roberts and J.D. Robb readers

Tinder...oh Tinder....

The aggravations of the Tinder pool

Strong Women in Fiction

Oregon Regency Society

Rising from the Abyss

Mind Exploration

#50ShadesIsAbuse BlogRing

Exposing the Domestic Violence In the Books

I Am Not the Babysitter

I Was A Foster Kid

About growing up in the foster care system

akaKody

new url, same Kody

Magical things. Beautiful things.

Michelle L. Johnson's positive life ponderings

Ink in the Book

Author, reader, dreamer

Writer's Digest

Author, reader, dreamer

DAILY WRITING TIPS

Author, reader, dreamer

Goins, Writer

On Writing, Ideas, and Making a Difference

Sweaters for days...

Author, reader, dreamer

Cape Cod Scribe

Author & Artist K.R. Conway

All My Friends Are Pretend

Author, reader, dreamer

Writing From the Padded Room

Author, reader, dreamer

Robb Grindstaff

  • Follow Following
    • Alys Marchand
    • Join 63 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Alys Marchand
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...